See Her Campaign: Can Women Really Have It All? Maybe That’s the Wrong Question

“Can women have it all?”
It’s a question that is asked a lot and to be honest, I have asked myself many times before. But you will rarely hear it asked of men. Why? Because underneath that question is an outdated assumption: that work and family are inherently in conflict for women, but not for men.

If you speak to most women especially who have care responsibilities…they are really worn out. A Deloitte UK study in 2022 stated that 46% of women reported feeling burned out, compared to 38% of men and 1 in 3 women considered leaving their job due to burnout.

The Silent Struggle of Modern Motherhood

I have so many friends who are mums and every one of them is navigating a different version of the same uphill battle. Some must work, even though they would rather be at home. Others want to work but simply cannot afford the childcare. Then there are those caught in the constant tug-of-war, feeling guilty for not being able to give 100% at work or at home.

More and more women are stepping back from careers they have worked hard to build, not because they want to, but because the support just isn’t there. The system expects us to juggle everything, yet offers so little help in return.

The real question is not whether women can have it all. The question is why are our workplaces still forcing them to choose?

The higher you climb the ladder

When women reach the top, they are too often met not with reward, but with resistance.

For FTSE 100 companies, women's representation on boards was 44.7% in 2024, while in senior leadership roles it was 36.6%. While representation at board level has improved, the real glass ceiling lies in executive leadership where full-time, inflexible roles dominate.

Many senior jobs in the UK are still designed around a 1950s model: full-time, in-office, always available. That model doesn’t reflect the lives of modern workers and disproportionately penalises women, particularly those with caregiving responsibilities.

Whilst more dads are doing more than ever when it comes to childcare, according to ONS data (2023), women perform 60% more unpaid childcare and domestic work than men. That load doesn't disappear when women climb the ladder, it just becomes harder to balance when the top positions are so rigid.

The Mum Guilt

Mum guilt often hits hardest when it comes to working, whether it's returning to a job after maternity leave or juggling a career alongside parenting. Many mothers feel torn between the need to provide financially or pursue personal goals and the desire to be present for every moment of their child’s life. Society often adds to this pressure by idealizing the stay-at-home mother and undervaluing working mums, making it easy to feel as though choosing or needing to work somehow means you are falling short as a parent. Women are constantly having to choose and someone always loses out .

The Sticky Floor

One of the few positive outcomes of the COVID-19 pandemic was the rise of hybrid and remote working, which enabled many women to return to senior roles while still being present for school pick-ups and after-school responsibilities.

Fast forward to 2025 and many organisations have quickly forgotten that productivity doesn’t require being glued to an office desk five days a week. The shift back to full-time, in-office work has gained momentum, with more companies demanding a return to pre-pandemic norms.

This regression has given rise to the term “the sticky floor”. Women who previously thrived in remote or flexible roles are now finding themselves reluctant (or unable) to pursue new opportunities. Why? Because many of these roles now lack the flexibility they once offered and increasingly require a full-time office presence. As a result, the talent pipeline is being disrupted. Women become stuck, unable to progress, and organisations risk losing the diverse leadership they had only just begun to rebuild.

How can we shift?

The “having it all” question feels deeply flawed because it assumes a perfect life with no compromises. The real issue isn’t about women having everything, it’s about redesigning systems, so they’re not forced to give up so much just to succeed or get to the breaking point of complete exhaustion.

Here are a few ways we can shift that reality in the UK:

• Make senior roles flexible by design: I have held senior roles and never worked full time since having children. It just makes you much more efficient and you get the same work done as if you were working full time.
• Tackle the part-time penalty: UK women are far more likely to work part-time after having children, yet these roles come with lower hourly pay, fewer promotions, and limited progression. This creates a long-term earnings gap and a bottleneck in the leadership pipeline.
• Shared Parental Leave reform: Take-up of SPL in the UK remains shockingly low, just 2% of eligible fathers use it. Countries like Sweden and Iceland offer models where shared leave is equally incentivised. It’s time we normalise caring as a shared responsibility.
• Stop equating hours with value: We need a cultural reset. Long hours shouldn’t be mistaken for commitment. Measure output rather than how long you have sat at your desk for.

It’s Not About “Having It All”

The truth is, no one (regardless of gender) “has it all” in the glossy, effortless sense. Life is full of trade-offs. But only women are constantly asked to justify theirs.

So, let’s change the question. Instead, let’s ask:

• Why do we still design success in ways that exclude caregivers?
• Why are flexible senior roles still the exception?
• And how can we build a world of work that rewards impact, not presenteeism?

If we want gender equality at the top, we need to stop fixing women and start fixing the system.

“Women are not leaving leadership roles because they lack ambition, they’re leaving because they’re expected to succeed in environments that were never built for them.”
McKinsey & Company – Women in the Workplace (UK edition)

Because it’s not about whether women can have it all. It’s about ensuring they don’t have to do it all to be respected, promoted, and heard.

By Louise Kennison, Owner of Cygnet HR